I’m sure your local TicketMaster office is in tears today over Victoria Beckham taking a giant Fashion Week dump on their dreams of her belting out a modern remix of “Not Such An Innocent Girl” during a solo arc at an upcoming Spice Girls reunion. All the spices got together for tea the other week, which led most people to say they were reuniting. Early reports said there wouldn’t be a reunion tour, but then there was rumor last week that Posh was going to zig-a-zig-alllll around the world for a tour. Alas, it is not meant to be.
Vogue caught up with Posh just before she had her New York Fashion Week show, and said that the only time you’re going to see her in a catsuit is if you dust off your VHS copy of Spice World. Noting that fashion is what she does now, Posh said it is possible for the spices to work together and not sing…after all, that’s how she made a career during the initial life of the band:
“There’s something so strong in the message of what the Spice Girls stood for. What is that in the future? What does that look like? We were just bouncing ideas around. Brainstorming…”
I’m sure Posh’s idea of brainstorming meant asking the girls to do a live set at her London shop to hopefully put her fashion label in black. After being asked about the tour, Posh did say someone in the Beckham household appreciates her old sense of style and wouldn’t mind seeing her back in it:
“Is that what you really, really want? I remember that movie. I was so upset when they made me wear that tight little army dress. And Harper Beckham, who’s only watched Spice World once, says, ‘Mummy, I love that bit when everyone’s in the really cool clothes and you’re in the tight little army dress!’”
Posh made it sound like the Spice brand will basically resurrect to capitalize on the current era of girl power and show these new bitches how it’s done, adding, “It’s not me in a cat-suit.” I’m sure this was uttered just as the other four were getting measured for their cat suits (y’know, for book signings and not singing-related events and pageantry), so this reunion is already off to a passive aggressive swimming success!